Clearly Departed






I think I'll have him cremated


Confounded faces all around


Of course I've cancelled the coffin


No place for him in the ground




Yes, it's been a mangled morning


What with him going off so quick


But the wobbling was a warning


And the bucket he certainly did kick




I remember his words, his jumbled jargon


His rattles and his runs to the loo


It was pretty clear what was happening


Those fizzled farts said he was through




Now he's gone, shall I miss him?


It's no longer a matter of concern


I think I've got a bottled bargain


I've got the bastard in an urn






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