There's Nowt so Queer as Folk

        THERE'S NOWT SO QUEER AS FOLK       I have a technique   To show the the kind of folk   Everyone's a freak   All mirrors and smoke       Some people need a push   All we need's a...

Puss in Boot

  PUSS IN BOOT   I heard a noise, it made me jump 'Twas the exhaust, you silly chump! It sounded odd and could be cod It certainly was fishy   I stopped the car, got out, inspect Looked in the boot, tried to detect There...

"We have Lift-off!"

  « We have Lift-off »   The fart I left in the lift was cute The others inside were rendered mute As they'd entered the bowels of hell Well yes, it was a helluva smell   These souls had just had a noseful of me Using this...

Bushwhacked!

  BUSHWHACKED !   My back's against the wall The future's looking bleak It's going to be a close call I think I'm up the creek   I've been held for a ransom I've got looks that could kill Dark, tall and handsome To...

The Purpose of Life

  THE PURPOSE OF LIFE       Bears are for baiting   Ladies for waiting   Foxes for hunting   Pigs are for grunting   Lions for roaring   Boards are for flooring   Bras for removing   Music for...

My poems

I've stopped posting them here   I have deleted all.